Originally published December 19, 2014 by Trey Warme on LinkedIn.
Don’t give them your checkbook. | Buddhist story | I AM TECHNOLOGY blog by Trey Warme, San Diego
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! I can’t believe that _______ just did that! Why I oughta’ give them a piece of my mind…
Sound familiar? Unless you’re on a plane of enlightenment not generally achieved without a tenured practice of continuous mindful attention, we’ve all likely been there. What if we had the tools to react differently? Fortunately, we do! It just takes changing how we think and a little practice.
First tool in our mental toolbox is the realization that nothing anyone does is because of us. Don Miguel Ruiz sums up this thought nicely in his book, “The Four Agreements”, in the second agreement: Don’t take anything personally. “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
The acknowledgment of ‘nothing other people do is because of you’ is a valuable adjustable mental wrench in our toolbox. That’s great you say, but how do I use that tool in the heat of the moment when someone is really pushing my buttons?
I share a Buddhist story I read somewhere years ago I think beautifully illustrates this concept:
A man is driving down the highway when another driver veers into his lane and completely cuts him off, causing him to hit his brakes and swerve to avoid an accident. The driver, enraged at the person who cut him off, uncontrollably proceeds to shake his fist and yell calling the careless driver all sorts of obscenities. The enraged river continues their angry rant at the careless driver, who cannot hear them and is totally unaware, for the next few minutes.
Finally, the angry driver’s passenger friend says, “Why don’t you give them your checkbook?”
“What???” the upset driver bewilderedly responds.
The passenger replies, ”Well, you’re letting them rule your emotions, why not give them your checkbook and let them rule your finances too?”
Ha, this story has made me smile on numerous occasions when I feel like someone is purposely pushing my buttons and has helped me to keep my cool. Are you giving them your checkbook, Trey? Maybe it can help you too? Eh, don’t give ‘em your checkbook…
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Trey Warme is a leading expert information systems infrastructure engineer and a developing business leader. He is currently actively seeking new opportunities in technical sales engineering with information systems management and security services providers to complement his advanced systems engineering skills. Trey also provides professional information technology consulting services that harness the practical leadership abilities of an over 15-year cumulative immersion in progressively accountable direction of information technology infrastructure design and IT systems management. Contact Trey at email@example.com or call him directly @ 858-776-4172.